Scary.

I woke up with my heart beating out of my ears and feeling so relieved. I had just dreamt that I was about to marry Brian, I don't know why, and we were already well into the expensive two-day celebration surrounded by family and friends. We hadn't gone through the ceremony yet, so when I realized this was NOT the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with I pleaded with my mother for her to help me call it off, but she had to go help Ellen Tani because she had gotten sick and needed to be taken home. I started pacing around in circles hyperventilating, not even remembering being proposed to, knowing that I would regret this decision forever, wondering why I had said yes, and wondering how damaged my reputation would become if I did in fact manage to cancel it hours before I said "I do." Just when I felt like all hope was lost, I woke up (so often waking up ends up saving me from complete desperation in dreams), chest pounding, feeling soooo relieved. Thank god.